Matthew posted this message on Reddit in 2025:
First of all, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Trauma like this runs deep, and it’s completely normal to feel like you’re losing your grip on reality after such a significant loss. It sounds like the two of you shared a special bond, and it hurts when you lose a connection like that. These experiences seep deeply into our subconscious, and it’s normal to have daydreams, hear sounds, or in this case, dream as responses to traumatic loss.
I want to emphasize that although these thoughts and feelings can feel uncomfortable and uncontrollable, they can be addressed in ways that help your mind move toward healing. Here’s a suggestion that has helped me in the grieving process. It may sound corny, but I ask that you read this whole thing first and really hear me out.
Spend time in spaces that remind you of your friend. Look at old photos of the times you spent together. Talk with people who shared those moments with the two of you. Most importantly, allow yourself to feel the pain that runs through you. The human mind is incredibly complex, and grief isn’t something you can simply switch from channel to channel(if only it were that easy).
If you’d like, I also suggest writing about the times you spent together. Though it’s painful, think of it as an act of love toward both them and yourself. I’ve written letters specifically addressed to lost loved ones before. It doesn’t necessarily make things easier, but it can help your understanding and your relationship with them move into a new chapter. Your relationship with your friend isn’t over—it persists, even though they’re gone. In a strange way, your love for them may even be strengthened now that they’re no longer here.
Grief is love with nowhere to go, but the love is still there. It comes out as pain and yearning for your friend. It sounds like your dream reflected the anxiety of them being superficially replaced by an imitation or recreation. This is important to reflect on, especially because your reaction in the dream was negative. In a way, this might be a reflection of the wisdom you’re gaining from this heartbreaking experience.
Deep down, you know that your friend was one of a kind and irreplaceable. It’s tangled and misshapen because of emotional dysregulation, but it’s another form of love. You know they’re never coming back, you know they’re gone for good, and most of all, you know that chasing a superficial replacement is the wrong answer to what you’re going through.
I hope these words help you on your grieving journey. I’m sure your friend knew how much you cared about them. After all, if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be suffering as much as you are now, would you?
Again, I’m deeply sorry for your profound loss. Take care of yourself.
Original posting: https://www.reddit.com/r/Dreams/comments/1fyjzi8/comment/lqurzqz/
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