Delivered by Rose Anderson on February 19, 2026 at Matthew’s Celebration of Life:
I thought about having chatGPT help me write this, but then I remembered 1 – Matt would have killed me for that and 2 – I’m the “bad at technology” sister.
We kids called each other a lot of names growing up. Sometimes bad names, but a lot of good names – smart, beautiful, funny, kind, but Matt was always “best”. We said he was the best one from the beginning. And as we added to our family, they saw it too. Matt has 4 siblings. We are all competitive, except for Matthew. But we all knew there was no argument with him being the best. I’m sure he happily would have given someone else the title and maybe he didn’t think he deserved it, but all the more reason why he was objectively the best of us. From the moment he got here, something was different about him. He was just good – only good. Always.
Since Matthew died, we’ve spent every waking moment thinking about this kid. You would think over time being together nonstop you’d hear the same stories from different people, but we all had our own experiences with him and we’re constantly having more stories to tell. Every conversation starts with “remember” and someone would say yes! – and fill in the rest.
Remember that trip? Or remember how he would only wear orange for years? Remember how much he loved tornado watching? How much he loved dragons? Or Harry Potter wands? Or tie-dye? Or scary movies? Or weird films? Or ANALYZING SCARY MOVIES AND WEIRD FILMS TO DEATH? Or Zelda? Or snowflakes? Or clothes? Or dancing? Or Halloween (not just the holiday, our cat too)? Titanic? Or parachutes? ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL? Music? Fish tanks? Remember how much he loved eclipses? Fireworks? The theater? His mom?
Remember his rough hands? His long hugs? How often he wanted to play with his niece and nephews and show them things? The unique way he’d reach across and hold your hand? His courage to be outspoken for the rights of others to be who they are? About protecting trans kids? Freeing Palestine? How if he could help watch your pet he ALWAYS would? How butterflies would land on him out of the blue? Or how he’d hold one shoulder and look you right in the eye when he wanted to tell you something?
We’re devastated but so lucky. To have had each other and to have been raised by the most incredible pair. We are one tough bunch but we love each other like nobody’s business. and protect each other no matter what. I wish I could have protected him better from this. It is so unfair that Matthew isn’t here. He would have loved to see this casket turned into a work of art, he would have loved to see all of you.
He just loved. Over and over and over and over and over and over. And he knew he was loved. We relentlessly told him and showed him and he trusted us. And we knew how good his friends were to him. So it wasn’t that. Matthew was sick. Let me stress how important it is to try your hardest if you ever feel alone. You matter. Just do your best and ask for help. Matt did his BEST. He had been asking for help. He had been getting help. But in this case, he didn’t ask for quite enough help in a moment.
Everyone is allowed to feel how they feel. And say how they feel. In fact SAY HOW YOU FEEL. To someone. Find a good environment to say how you feel. Someone who has capacity for those feelings, a therapist, a family member, a friend. All of the above. At the same time. Matt’s brain tricked him. I am mad at his illness. It didn’t let him ask for enough help at the moment he needed to. He knew how much we all loved him and he. loved. everything. Endlessly.
I am grateful for how hard he tried and that we don’t have to worry that we didn’t love him enough. It’s still wrong for him to be gone, but I am thankful he gave us the BEST 25 years. I wanted and still want many many more, but he will be with us forever and we have so many things to remind us of him and continue to talk to him about.
I’m 10.5 years apart from Matthew which meant I got to pick him up from school sometimes. I’ll start doing the same with my daughter and Matthew’s niece later this year. I’ll get to remember those times with him when I pick her up. One of those pick ups I will of course think of him but I’ll be smiling and laughing with Etta. He won’t be gone though he won’t be here. It will just be different and we will just have to adjust.
We will think about Matt every day for the rest of our lives. That is a good thing! It will still be okay to cry about this in 50 years and we will have tears then, too. But at some point before we’ll be able to have days with only smiles when we think of him. I don’t know when, but I so look forward to that. It will come! In the meantime, enjoy beautiful things more and touch grass (is that right? I’m not cool). Remember there will always be more beautiful things. There are a million in the world even in tragedy. If you ever need inspiration, I know the best guy to show some examples. Keep an eye out for it. He’ll keep showing us. Thank you, baby brother. I love you.